Where's My Village?

I had the honor of reading this piece during the Lehigh Valley production of Listen To Your MotherTM on April 30, 2017.

Kids are

adorable

disgusting

funny

challenging

Every day.

There’s that old saying “it takes a village to raise a child.”

I have two children, where’s my village?

Like many parents today, we live over an hour away from family, most of whom work.

My husband works full-time while I spend my days transporting my kids where they need to go.

For me, it’s a bit more complicated because one of my children has complex medical needs, developmental delays, and gets 10 hours of therapy each week plus appointments with a variety of specialists.

(It says a lot when you walk into a busy doctor’s office and the receptionist remembers your child’s name on sight.)

My other kid has therapy, school, and activities. And meltdowns - don't get me started.

I have my own therapy and I volunteer, not because I have lots of free time, but because I’ve found things I’m passionate about and I want to help others.

It also keeps me, ME.

One of the things I’m passionate about is supporting and empowering moms and future moms.

In caring for others, especially those who don’t talk yet, it can be easy to lose yourself to what you do.

As new parents, our days are suddenly not our own, and they are filled with

crying,

laughing,

bouncing,

burping,

stolen sleep,

and dirty diapers.

As our children grow, they gradually become more independent,

but with that independence come new challenges.

There’s so many choices to make as a parent,

and the worry over whether you’ve made the “right” choice.

Then the worry “Will somebody judge me for this?”

Feelings of frustration,

isolation,

stress,

anger,

and resentment

can eat away at us,

consuming the contentment,

the accomplishment,

and the belonging

that comes from having children.

We all need support.

Someone to talk to, someone who listens,

who will tell you “Been there, done that, here’s how I got through it,”

who can say “You got this and I got your back”

Support is what gets us through the hard, helps us find our strong.

Especially parents,

those with multiple children,

those with special needs,

those who are struggling.

We need to be reminded of our worth and why we raise our children.

We need to build our families in communities of compassion with resources that enable us to keep going.

Yes, we may be strong. But we don’t do it because we’re strong.

We do it because we have to.

Because, if we don’t, who will?

This is not where I thought I’d be

or where I’d planned to be,

but I’m where I need to be:

caring for my kids, and building a community of support.

Where’s my village?

I’m building it:

One support group

playdate

helping hand

sanity check (wine and chocolate)

At a time.