Your toddler throwing food, toys, and your favorite travel mug during his 4th major tantrum before 10am. Babies screaming their heads off every time you set them down, then continuing to cry even after you pick them up, hug them, bounce them, feed them, change their diapers.
And when you think you've finally figured out how to deal with things, it changes on you and nothing seems to work.
You worry:
- Did I do something to cause this?
- Should I be doing something different?
- Am I giving them enough attention?
- Too much attention?
- Do other parents deal with this too?
- Am I a bad parent?
I've figured something out. These are questions that run through every parent's brain and here are the answers.
- Yes, you had a child (or 2, 3, 4, 10) and became a parent.
- Probably, but every "expert" will tell you something different. Do what feels right to you and try to stop stressing over it.
- Nope. Put down or turn off the electronic device. Stop reading that parenting book. Use ALL your vacation days. Love your kid.
- Nope. We all want attention from those we care about. It is how we know they care about us. Take another look at HOW you pay attention. What do you you say and do? How does it make you feel? How does it make your child feel?
- YES!!!! All parents struggle with their kids. You just may not see it.
- NO!!!! Just the fact that you are worrying about being a bad parent means that you aren't one. It is not about being the perfect parent. There are no perfect parents.
There are no perfect parents.
We are all just trying to do our best, each in our own way. We struggle. We worry. We hope we're not messing up. We hear people tell us how amazing we are and we don't believe it. That's why there are so many blog posts, magazine articles, and advice books.
So take a short break from your worrying, buy a new travel mug, spend quality time with your kids, and know that you are not alone.